if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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