Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
