I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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