And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
