dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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