wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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