ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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