also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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