if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
well you can't waste a boner
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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