is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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