I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize