dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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