his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
