Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His hands were made for my vagina.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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