i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I look better un-naked...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize