Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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