I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I want to fling myself into the sun
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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