It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
