Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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