everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
