So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
