Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
