when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
