we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
