the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
