my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It was confusing and full of hummus
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize