she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The struggles of a small town man whore
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
