Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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