I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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