Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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