I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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