Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Randomize
