You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
