..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
