sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He has the fingertips of a God
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