plz talk dirty to me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
