Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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