i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
