dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
