That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
