Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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