Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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