like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
