how do flat chested girls get laid?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
