My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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