If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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