Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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