i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
