Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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