I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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