Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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