watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
