physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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