real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize