fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
