i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
