your parents love me but you hate me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
