he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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