he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
