I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
that is very illegal...i love you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
