I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
