hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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